Monday, March 25, 2013

Mommy duties versus wife duties

I find myself torn between the two. Before we got married, J and I took 20-weeks of pre-marital classes. Our church requires two 10-week courses. Even though we weren't getting married at our home church, we thought it important to take the classes as a way to help us build our marriage and deal with the challenges of everyday life.

In the first year of our marriage, we weathered some challenging things but we came through just OK. Most of these challenging  stemmed from growing up in different backgrounds. The positive thing was always that even through it all, we never once doubted our love for each other or questioned why we got married. 

J was THE MOST supportive husband while I was pregnant! He would rub my back (not as long as I would like but still...) AND rub my feet. He carried the heavy stuff, did a lot more around the house and during our trip to Italy, he was ever more caring. Always making sure I was OK. 
During JOE's delivery, I was again impressed by how supportive J was. It truly melts my heart to recall the events of that day. He encouraged me, played my favorite christian music which he loaded on his iPOD for me. Got my ice and was there to clean up after a not so lady-like throw up session. Ick...I know :-).

Then along came JOE...

JOE is most definitely the apple of our eyes. We love her more than anything and with each passing day, we fall more in love with her. I didn't even know that was possible. 
But as anyone would tell you, being a mom is hard work and being a new mom can feel like twice the work! We are ALWAYS busy now and downtime often involves one of us taking care of the baby while the other rests. Exercising which used to be my favorite pastime now takes a backseat to sleep. 

Everyone says "it'll pass soon and you'll miss it". I really LOVE LOVE LOVE my little girl but sometimes, I wonder how the heck my parents did it with 6-kids and I wonder if I am nuts to want to have 3-kids.
I miss my one on one time with hubby but I also don't want anyone else watching JOE outside of her nanny until she is 12+ months. I know J misses our "us" time too and granted, its not just the 2 of us anymore. We're now a family of 3 so things are bound to be different.

For the moms out there, how did you cope with the transition? Has your relationship with your significant other changed or did it go back to being what it was after baby got a little older?

On another note, here's JOE with my parents during our visit to MA a couple of weekends ago. They just LOVE her and yes, JOE favors my mom :-).


  1. Wow! I might as well copy and paste this post as it explains exactly what I have been feeling lately lol. I lost count of how many times I told my hubby I miss him this weekend :(
    I told him I need a vacation away from my LO but with my LO. Hahaha! Makes no sense.
    aaahhh! the Lord is our strength.

    1. The Lord IS our strength. Thanks for the encouraging words. Its good to know I am not alone.

  2. J, thanks so much for sharing this. We've experienced the same sort of feelings and you are not nuts for wanting 3 kids. I give major props to our parents and grandparents for managing much more and still having healthy marriages.

    For us the arrival of our first was the hardest. It was the happiest time while also being the most challenging. We went from doing lots together to now having to care for this little one and doing not much. After we adjusted to the idea of having a baby, it seems things got much easier.

    I mean for our 2nd anniversary we didn't want to be away from our baby but this time around for our 4th anniversary, I don't even feel bad about leaving both of them behind to spend some time with my hubby. I guess it gets easier or at least we handle things better.

    We do so much more now just the two of us now that we have 2 it's crazy. Things do get better and easier, hang in there girly.

    1. Awww...thank you Peg. It is good to know that folks aren't lying about things getting better soon.
      I haven't given up on having 3 yet but for now, I truly want to enjoy JOE.

  3. Btw, JOE totally favors your mom :)

    1. Lol...she sure does. Sometimes, she makes facial expressions which are so similar to my mom. Makes me laugh!


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