Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Life changes

I feel like since I got pregnant, life has changed so much for J and I. Within weeks of finding out I was pregnant, J got a new job which he absolutely loves doing. I was very happy and proud of him him and was excited that our newest addition was already bringing us luck. We are in the process of purchasing our first home together and in addition to that, we are also having to make changes to our finances to ensure that baby J is taken care of when she arrives.

While I am still basking in the joys of soon becoming a first time mom, every now and then, I take a moment to think of all the changes and panic sets in. Here are just some of the thoughts going through my head:

- Will I be a good mom? Since I'll be a first time mom, I hope the decisions I make don't end up scaring the kid for life.

- Will my kids love me? I'd like to say all kids love their parents but I know that's not true. I know of some kids who are estranged from their parents and I honestly don't think I'd be able to handle it if my kids decided that we just aren't a good match as far as being close to J & I.

- Will I ever fit in my regular clothes again? I know that's not something I should be worrying about now but the thought does occur to me frequently. I see some people who have a baby and then years later, folks are still trying to figure out if its a new pregnancy or if its just weight from the last pregnancy.

- Will I ever be able to just be selfish and do what I want? I know that is a selfish thing to think of especially when bringing a child into this world but I often wonder if I will ever be as independent as I am now. J is awesome and gives me my space when I need it but I know kids are more needy than husbands.

- I love to travel...will that be a forgotten dream? Before I met J, I made a list of the places I'd like to visit. I haven't even gotten half way through the list and I am a little scared that I won't get to it now with a kid. Granted, my parents took us with them when we were young and now they do occasionally travel on their own but I am scared that I won't be able to take those trips and that'll be one of those bucket list items I never get to.

- Will we ever be able to retire and enjoy life? J & I are somewhat late bloomers. We met a little before we each turned 30 and got married at 33. I'll be 35 when our first little one arrives which means that by the time she graduates college, I'll be 57! YIKES!!! I sometimes envy my friends who started their family at a younger because it means they'll also be done at a younger age.

Those are just some of the thoughts that have been running through my head. Thankfully, J has listened and we often talk about them. He does a good job putting my mind at ease but oftentimes, its just a matter of time before I get back to that line of thought again.

I know some of these thoughts are first time parent fears but I can assure you in my head, it all seems VERY rational :-).

Here's a picture of J & I on our first trip together outside of the States. I still remember how happy I was that night!

Thoughts/Random Questions:
Do you have any fears of "growing up" and taking on additional responsibilities? If so, how do you tackle them?
For the first time moms out there, did you ever have any of these fears? If so, please share and let me know how you felt after the baby arrived.


  1. I had MANY of those fears. And most of them disappeared as soon as I laid my eyes on my daughter. What mattered most in life changed the instant she took her first breath of air. It was amazing, yet scary.

    You will be a good mom. Only good moms wonder whether or not they will be. "Bad moms" don't care. I was told that during my first pregnancy, and really took it to heart. Worrying about being a good mom means that you want to do well, and you will. Those instincts will kick in, an "S" will pop up on your chest, and a cape will be flying in the wind behind you.

    Your kids will love you because you will love them. Sure, as they get older there may be some bumps in the road, but the love remains. Instill in them the love you want them to show you and you will receive it.

    Getting back into prepregnancy clothes wasn't an issue with my last pregnancy, and hopefully you and I won't have a problem after we push these babies out! Honestly, taking care of that newborn is going to take precedence.

    I have a lot more to say but this comment is getting really long, LOL! End of the story is, you are a great mom, you will be fit as soon as is reasonably HEALTHY for you, your bambinos will love and adore you, and before you know it, your whole family will be jetsetting around the world, and you will be leaving the kiddos with your hubby for some much needed "me time". :-)

    1. Thanks Mrs. V...you got me all teary...I blame pregnancy hormones :-). I do appreciate the kind words and advise. I'll be sure to come back to read this again when I stay having the crazy thoughts :-).

  2. Don't even worry about your fears, you going to be a good mum. Those fears just come naturally since you are pregnant.

    Being the first time in Texas with my hubby, away from family and friends. I had no idea how bills were paid, no idea whatsoever.My hubby was the one who helped me in learning how to pay bills and since then, it's been so easy taking care of the bills and organizing everything.

    I know a lot of new mothers who had not idea whether they would be good mothers, it just happened naturally and they always tell me that it's a gift.

    Don't think too hard, just enjoy this moment in pregnancy, you will be good mum, if my crazy young cousins who didn't care about kids are good mums today, you should be able to do it well.

    1. Thank you so much for sharing that. It helps to know that I am not alone and others before me have faced similar fears.
      Your words are quite encouraging!

  3. I am not even pregnant and those are ALL the things I think about!

    1. Faith, I am sure you'll do great when the time comes :-).

  4. I think as life changes we adjust to it and it starts to feel normal.

    1. You are so right. I think I had similar fears about getting married after being single for so long and just doing my own thing. Now I have no idea what I was thinking because its been awesome so far. Yes we have our disagreements but I love knowing that no matter what, I have my best bud/partner in crime (he's the more rational one) with me always :-).

  5. Hubby and I were talking about similar things and it seems taunting but one day at a time!

    1. Glad I am not the only one feeling that way. And yes, one day at a time!

      You're almost there now. Wishing you a safe and easy delivery!

  6. I think its normal to worry- first time Mom or not! Congratulations on your pregnancy. New follower.

    1. Thank you :-). Its good to know that worrying is part of the deal.
      Thanks for following my blog. Off to read yours now :-).


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